New Mom Chronicles

Even her farts are beautiful...

Introducing...

Zoe Elizabeth

She has her mama's hands...

And she loves to sleep on her Daddy's chest...

Zoe finally decided to join us out here in the Big Bad World on March 28th at 5:42 p.m.  At birth, she was...[drumrolll please]

10 lbs., 13 oz., with a 16 inch head!!  Holy Schmoly!

We are all healthy and blissed out, and Husband and I are just head over heels in love with this beautiful - and I mean BEAUTIFUL, like FREAKING PERFECT and OHMYGODIJUSTWANTTOTAKEABITEOUTOFHERLITTLEFACE stunning - little girl. 

I will write more in detail about the birth experience later, but the short of it is that my water broke on Monday afternoon.  I started having contractions - FINALLY - on Tuesday night the 27th at midnight.  We were at the hospital by 7:30 a.m. where they discovered that I was already 9 cms dialated.  Once I was complete, I pushed to get her out into the world for SIX WHOLE HOURS (oh, how this poor child will never live that down).  In the end, I ended up needing a little help from the OB, who assisted with a vacuum to pull while I pushed. 

Our little Zoe was born vaginally and without any pain meds.  Oh yes, you can bet I'm proud of myself!  Good grief!  Almost eleven pounds??  My birth team of 4 extraordinary women - and an even more extraordinary Husband - were a true inspiration.  It was an amazing experience which words cannot even come close to expressing here.

We came home yesterday:

and we are going live happily ever after in our blissed out little fairy tale land.

PLEASE CALL US IF YOU LIKE!  The ban has been lifted!  Those last two weeks were an incredibly trying time, dealing with her late arrival and pressure from some docs - over, and over, and over again - to induce labor with drugs.  I can now honestly say that we made the right choices, no doubt about it.  We stayed strong and true to our convictions, and it all paid off in a VERY big way!

Now, I must go.  My daughter needs me...

A lesson in patience and trust

No updates of any significance.  There are still some good signs that things are progressing in the right direction.  We're in constant communication with our support team (doulas, midwives, OBs, etc.).  We keep having tests at the hospital, the baby keeps scoring her straight A's!  Mom too.  Dad's also hanging in there.

We're doing our best to trust and relax into the belief that we are being taking care of, and everything will happen in its right time.  The waiting, though.  She is killing us.  Already.  Are we in for it, or what??

But, like I said, we're hanging in there. It's a beautiful, sunny, blustery day here.  The house is clean (again), S&A brought us gorgeous flowers that are spread all over the house, they are on their way with some good food for us to eat, and the distraction of friends - and that SUPER CUTE baby of theirs!!! - will be most welcome.  I will update again if anything changes.  Or even if anything doesn't...

Still not in labor...

I feel like I should be wearing a sticker:

Hello, My Name is Shelby
& I'm not in Labor.

There are some very good signs though!  Yippee!  Please do not call us, let us call you.  You are more than welcome to email us or leave comments here if you like.

Thank you for your well-wishes and love.  We feel blessed to have so many people that are concerned for our well-being.  We'll let you know more as we know!

12 days past due...

Hi there!  In the interest of helping y'all out, here's the update:

There is no update. 

We are still doing our best to stay sane, and following the advice of our care providers while at the same time making the decisions that we feel and know in our hearts are best for our family.  My body seems to be ramping up for the big event, but nothing of any significance at this point.  I'll update here as the days go by with any new information.  I promise. 

Both Husband and I really and truly appreciate your concern, and if you'd like to leave a well-wish, please feel free to leave a comment here or email either one of us.

BabyWatch Two Thousand and !@#$#@! Seven, Part Two

The first watch was for Baby Raine, who started the process of coming into this world oh so kindly at just 4 days past 40 weeks.  Now, it's our baby's turn.  And we're waiting.  And waiting.  And waiting...

Sorry if some of you are calling and we're not calling back.  It's hard to keep our heads on straight at this point, but we're doing pretty well with it and part of that is staying busy and keeping our minds distracted with other things.  Talking about it over and over again doesn't help our sanity any.

We had some more tests today (non-stress test for baby's activity and heart beat and amniotic fluid ultrasound to make sure the placenta is working correctly and baby is happy in there), and they both came back with stellar results.  We have a reprieve until Monday, when we will have to go in again for more of the same.  But we're not thinking about that yet.  One day at a time is how we have to roll these days, here at the Shankypants household.

I'm not feeling nauseated anymore, which is good.  I go for walks every day, and do my meditations and affirmations daily also.  Husband is doing OK.  It's really hard on both of us.  We just didn't expect to be without our little girl by this point.  We both can't wait to see what she looks like and hold her in our arms.  And I am so ready.  Whoooo girl!  Let's get this show on the road!

What a difference 6 days makes...

I apologize in advance for my crappy attitude.  I am nothing if not honest and forthright about my feelings...

Mostly, I just wish I could stop thinking about it.  I know that people are only concerned about our well-being and want to check in on us to see how we're doing.  And, everyone's being pretty considerate about leaving us alone these days.  I'm just putting pressure on myself, so hearing anyone's voice who doesn't call on a regular basis feels like more of the same.

I'm so frustrated.  It's really hard to stay 'ready' and 'centered' for this long, especially when I'm feeling nauseated and pukey all the time for a week now - more than I have this entire pregnancy.  I know, I should quit my bitching for what some other women have to go through.  Anyway,  I think that maybe if I felt OK that it wouldn't be so hard to stay upbeat and patient. 

But I think what is factoring more into things is the ominous prospect of having to go back to the hospital on Friday for another "scheduled induction" - which I will refuse, again, with my midwives' blessings - but about which I will have to listen to the OB's spiel about increased risks and even though you're non-stress test and AFI results are stellar, these tests aren't fool-proof you know (unless the results were bad, then of course we would be calling them Gospel) and we really really really would love to pump you full of drugs, stripping you of your natural pain-killers and increasing your pain by 10 times so that you end up giving in to an epidural which could give you a fever which would make us want to stick your baby more times than necessary which would make you both stressed which would make breastfeeding and bonding harder, etc. etc. ad naseum.  Because then, you know, you'll be such an easier patient for us and we won't have to worry about our liability.

[And please don't argue with me about this. Believe me, I have done piles of research on induction and, at this point, and really until 42+ weeks, the risks outweigh the benefits.  I'm saving my justifications for the docs if you don't mind.  No need for me to go through it more times than I have to.]

I just feel that all of the work that I've done to be ready and peaceful about the birth of this baby has all gone to the shitter.  Yesterday, I felt much the same way in the morning and was able to do the work (meditation, visualizations, determined attitude adjustment) to have a better day.  Today, it feels beyond me.  I'm just sitting here crying and feel no motivation to do anything to change that.  Even though it's a gorgeous day and I could be appreciating that my baby is giving me these last moments to hang with my wonderful Husband, just the two of us.  But no, instead of that, I feel an adversarial relationship with the OB's at the hospital, which sucks, and am even starting to feel a little pissed off (Dare I admit it?) at my baby (Great, I'm a horrible mother already.) for taking her sweet damn time vacating my body.

I don't know which has been harder - being 6-7 months pregnant and working two jobs, or this.

My doula just called to tell me how proud of me she is.  Husband and I have had some stuff to deal with in this pregnancy, and she said that she's been really impressed with the grace with which we have handled ourselves, and the zeal with which we have researched our options and taken responsibility for ourselves.  What a great thing to hear in the midst of this shit that I'm feeling.  Maybe today can be a better day after all...

40 weeks, Plus one day

Thanks to our lovely and talented neighbor (Thank you, Friend!!), here are several really excellent photos of us at the beach today. 

At the time these were taken, both New Mom-to-be and New Dad-to-be were feeling a little nervous, maybe a little scared.  Things...are starting to happen.  Slowly but surely.  Our little girl could still be waiting another week to join us, but my intuition is telling me probably more like 3-4 days or so.  Funny.  I have spent 9 months in calm, deliberate, and thoughtful preparation for this moment, and yet...

I'm expected to push what?  Out of WHERE????  Oh my Lord you have GOT to be kidding me!

And now for your enjoyment:

There are more from whence these came.  If you want to see them, please shoot me an email and I'll send you the linky love.

[And no, I'm not up at 4 a.m. because I'm having contractions or anything.  I just woke up to pee (again), and was hungry.  That snowballed into having a snack and then checking my email and then feeling a little wound up.  Hm.  Wonder why...]

Beach walking

So, my friend Julie came over today and we had a lovely time catching up.  We also went for a walk on the beach.  Where she made me let her take pictures of me and The Belly.  So, here you have it, folks.  The Belly:

Happy now?

We had a lovely walk on the beach, on a lovely sunny day.  I've been spending the last few days relaxing in the sun, having some nice, quiet time with Husband.  Thanks, Baby, for letting me have this time.  Any day now would be fine.  Well, maybe Wednesday.  Or after that.  Lol...

Checking in...

I'm feeling pretty good these days, aside from finally having the discomfort that so many pregger ladies talk about - my lungs are being impinged upon, my belly feels ginormous, my ankles and feet are often swollen beyond all recognition no matter what I do or don't do, etc.  But these things are all mild, and in general I feel really good, and my body has handled this pregnancy quite gracefully for the most part. 

I had a visit with my acupuncturist on Tuesday, and she did a treatment to set things into motion a little bit for me.  Husband and I saw one of our midwives today, and she said that the baby's head is really low.

We have made our decision about the aforementioned Group B Strep issue concerning antibiotics, and feel resolved and peaceful about it.  Now, I'm just finishing up a few last-minute things, like getting the car seat installed, making food to freeze for later, and packing my hospital bags.  It's coming down to the wire, and that feels OK.  I'm ready to meet this little one...

I'm getting ready...

This is my new mantra.  A few days ago, it was most assuredly, "I am not ready.  Not yet please.  Let's just wait a few days, mkay?"  I think that holding a space for BF SS and her baby, along with the crappy news on Wednesday and the discussions with my OB and midwife, really sent me for a depleted-energy loop.  I went to see my very wise life coach yesterday, and today I'm feeling much more settled.  So, I am getting ready.  My "To Do" list isn't that long, and truthfully, there's not that much on there that feels imperative.

Husband had a garage sale this weekend.  I am in awe that he actually motivated to do it - both days.  But, he did, and he did an awesome job, and we actually made some $$!!  Also, we sold our dining room table and chairs and went out last night and bought another set from a guy that's moving to Manhattan next weekend.  The new set is soooo pretty.  Now there's something that I've wanted to do but didn't think would get done before baby!  All we have to do is call for charity to come and pick up what we didn't sell.  It will feel great to have all that stuff out of our garage, and I know Husband will enjoy having his parking spot back.

The next two days I'm having appointments with a pediatrician and an OB about the whole GBS positive issue.  Wish me luck.  We're mostly decided about what route to take, and I'm hoping for little resistance from my care providers.

What I'm most happy about tonight is, and I don't want to jinx myself by saying anything too soon....actually, on second thought.  I won't say anything.  It's too important.  I'll write more later and let you know what that was about.  Sorry.  ZOINKS! I got you all ready for some juicy stuff and then yanked it out of your grasp at the last minute!  It may not seem all that important to you, actually, when you find out what the hell I'm talking about.  But, it is of utmost importance to me.  Ut. Most.

I think I've turned a corner, and I'm excited (again) to be getting ready for the birth of my daughter.  I can't wait to meet her!!  I can't believe there will be a real, live baby at the end of this road!  Wild stuff.  Mind boggling.  I suppose it won't be real until she's here.  This little being with her own spirit and her own purpose, entrusting herself to our care and nurturing for her whole entire life.  Yeah.  No big deal.  (!!!!!!)