Oh, hi!

Hellooooo there!  First, here's this:

Big sunglasses and a purple pacifier.  It's the new look for Fall!

Zoe's eighteen month birthday is coming up, and haven't you heard?  Eighteen months is the new two!  As in, terrible twos.  And boy howdy, is it ever!  We have a cornucopia of fun stuff going on in our home. Here are just a few...

• Screeching!
• Whining!
• Biting!
• Pinching!
• Oh, and let's not forget the hitting.
• Best of all?  Full blown, all out Tantrums with a capital T. 

The other day, for no apparent reason to us, Zoe ran into the study, threw herself on the floor, and starting screaming and flailing all of her body parts around on the floor.  Wow.  Husband and I just looked at each other, moved so that we were out of sight, and had a quiet little chuckle of amazement.  Then, of COURSE we went to see what all the fuss was about.  I can't even remember what it was.

This...this is hard work.  I reached the end of my rope the other day, emailed a trusted parenting coach for advice, and skimmed through my favorite parenting book.  I wrote up pretty little cards and taped them all over the house...on the bathroom mirror, on the wall in front of the toilet, on the back door.  Things like, "Give Zoe choices instead of demands," and "Tell her what you want, not what you don't want," and "Don't overhwelm Zoe with your power." These have been unbelievably helpful, and I think she and I are both handling this age a lot better now.

Eighteen months is right smack in the middle of the go-away-come-here age.  Or the push-pull age, as a friend recently coined it.  In addition to Zoe finding her way with her new independence - she walks well now, and is talking more and more each day - she's also at an age where separation anxiety is at its height.  Poor baby!  What a cruel twist of babyhood!  Add to all of that the fact that she's experiencing intense emotions and has nowhere to put them, and you have all of those things listed above.

I just hope I do well by her during the tough times.  Up until now, I have to say, I've had it pretty easy I think.  She's always been a good sleeper, a good eater, and pretty mellow all around.  She's still all of those things*, but with a willful and POWERFUL side coming through.  This one's going to give me a run for my money, I think.

In order to take better care of myself after having a little breakdown a few months ago, I started back seeing my life coach.  She's been wonderful, and I really feel so much better.  I'm going back to acupuncture as well, and I've been meditating each morning for 15 minutes.  That time in the morning has proved invaluable to me, and I thank my dear Husband for making sure that I get it.  I just spend some time grounding myself, thinking about what I want for myself and my family, who I want to be that day, and how I can accomplish that.  It has really turned many a morning completely around into a great day.

So, yes, Zoe's talking.  She says Hi, Bye, Doggie, Daddy, Mama, Mommy, Booboo, yish yash (splish splash - so cute), ish (shoe), Baby, up, down, on, off, cheese, all dooown (fall down), soeoeo (Zoe-oe-o), among a myriad of animal sounds.  She nods her head yes and no, waves, spins around, does downward dog yoga poses, dances until she falls down, kisses, hugs, makes a sad face and an excited face when asked, and says Hussssssh.  Oh, and she gets totally excited and says "GAH GAH" whenever she hears an airplane or helicopter.  Which is a lot around here.  UPDATED TO ADD: I can't believe I forgot to mention that she also says Carlo.  As in, Uncle Carlo next door.  That's new as of about a week ago.

She's getting more steady on her feet, running and climbing up stairs with relative ease.  Husband has found her on top of a chair and leaning onto the dining room table, and she can also climb the chairs out in the back yard.  She cannot, however, climb down anything.  This was the partial cause (along with my idiocy) for a nasty spill down 3 of our front stairs, after which we both cried.  I think it scared me more than it did her.  She ended up with a bit of a shiner and nothing else.  I ended up drinking down a bottle of Rescue Remedy (exaggerating - and it's a homeopathic remedy, not an alcoholic beverage) and a healthy dose of good old-fashioned, self-imposed Guilt.  God, what a horrible feeling.  Of course I could have prevented it had I not been MONUMENTALLY STUPID at that moment, but we live and learn.

Lesson #30,414:
She may follow you partway up the stairs, but she doesn't want you to come back down to pick her up and carry her the rest of the way. She would rather turn around and STEP INTO THE AIR.  STAY BEHIND YOUR TODDLER ON THE STAIRS, SHELBY!!!  GAH!!!!

I admit this to you because I think it's good medicine for me, and also good for other new mommas who might be reading this to see that moms - a doula for crying out loud!  a mother-of-the-earth type! - f**k up from time to time.  For those of you who are thinking, "How could she have done that??"  Well, I agree with you.  Now go judge someone else.  Go on, move along...

Anywhoo, we've been playing in the back yard more and more.  She's not so much into playing, per se, as she is into eating dirt:

and...

(Notice the cinder block.  We like to set up obstacle courses of Really Dangerous Stuff for her to navigate.  Haha!  Wow, I'm a model parent.  Yay for me!**)

But the immediate shove-dirt-in-mouth reflex is waning as we go out there more and more.  We had a heat wave last week, so it was great to be outside.  We went and visited our friends one day:

And playing in the pool was so much fun that I went and bought a pool for our backyard (on clearance for $15!!  A HUGE one!).  As if on cue, the fog promptly rolled in.  That very afternoon.  So we haven't used it yet, and may not get the opportunity until the Spring.  But we're looking forward to it!

Ok, that's all for now.  I best get myself off to bed.  We have a busy weekend ahead of us, visiting with our old roommie up in Sonoma on Saturday, and preparing for a trip to Montana for which we leave on Wednesday morning.  Wish us all luck, and kind fellow passengers on our flights!

*The eating has suffered a bit from the Eighteen month phenomenon, too.  She knows damn well what she likes (bananas, cheese, bread, bananas, chicken, cheese cheese, applesauce, and more cheese), and knows exactly what she doesn't like (anything green) and also knows that I can't make her eat anything she doesn't want to.  :)  I just stay calm, offer her a wide variety of foods, and trust that she's not going to starve herself.  Most days.  Other days I throw the still-full-of-food-that-I-spent-time-cooking baby dishes into the sink.  From across the room.

**The cinder blocks have since been moved to the very back of the yard, far away from Zoe's stomping grounds.